By Praise Fowowe
When African families make the bold decision to migrate to developed countries, they step into a world full of opportunities but also fraught with challenges. The transition is not just one of geography but also of identity, history, community, and purpose. As these families attempt to settle, they often find themselves in a battle for their marriage, children, and cultural values—the very foundation of who they are.
I have seen many families disintegrate simply by moving here. While many have erroneously assumed that diaspora destroy marriages; the truth is the developed world will set a test for you to reveal the strength and depth of your family. As a leading figure in the family strategy space i have seen a lot of situations where our people have been rescued by moving from emotions to systems intelligence.
It is imperative that immigrants understand the four critical battle lines they must navigate to preserve their family structure and flourish in their new environment. These battles are not fought with strength alone, but with wisdom, intentionality, and cultural intelligence. In this article, I will outline the four key battle lines every African immigrant family must face and how they can emerge victorious in keeping their marriages intact, raising resilient children, and fostering a thriving family life in the diaspora.
1. The Battle Line of Identity: Who Do We Say We Are?
When an African family moves to a developed world, one of the first battles they face is the battle of identity. Who are we, really? And how do we define ourselves in a land that does not fully understand our cultural nuances or our shared history? The first question that must be answered is: What does our identity mean, and how can we preserve it in this new world?
Many immigrants struggle with cultural adaptation, feeling torn between holding on to their roots and assimilating into the dominant culture. The battle of identity is not just about self-perception but also about collective self-definition. It is important for families to be aware of their heritage, traditions, and values—and to build an identity system that is strong enough to withstand external pressures. If immigrant families do not have a clear sense of who they are and what they stand for, they risk losing their foundation.
The key to winning this battle is a purposeful identity, rooted in values, heritage, and tradition. Immigrant families must embrace who they are in the fullness of their cultural identity. They must not let their roots fade but actively cultivate and pass them on to their children, empowering the next generation to take pride in their African identity while navigating the world they now live in.
2. The Battle Line of History: The Danger of Forgetting Our Story
One of the lesser-discussed yet profound battles that African immigrants face is the battle of history. An average African family struggles to speak clearly about the man in their 4th or 5th generation. History has often been a victim of neglect, whether by circumstance or by the pressures of survival in foreign lands. However, it is in our ancestral stories that the key to resilience and strength lies. In most of my workshops in the last one year less than 1% of my students could clearly tell the story and the identity of the man in the 4th generation.
When families fail to pass on their stories, they risk losing their connection to their roots and culture. As immigrants, we are often faced with the challenge of balancing our past with our present—one cannot move forward without honoring where they’ve come from. Our children, if not grounded in our history, are susceptible to losing their way. Without knowing the struggles, triumphs, and sacrifices of their ancestors, they lack the motivation and the deep sense of purpose that can guide them.
We must teach our children to own our stories, to see themselves as the heirs of greatness, and to draw inspiration from the rich history that has shaped who we are today. If the African diaspora’s future is to thrive, our children must learn to stand tall on the shoulders of our ancestors, using their heritage as both a shield and a sword.
3. The Battle Line of Village: From Competition to Collaboration
Africa has always embraced the belief that it takes a village to raise a child. But when African families move to developed countries, they often find themselves in a different kind of village—one that can feel distant, fragmented, and isolating. There is a lack of communal support, and the individualistic culture of the West can feel foreign and overwhelming.
In the immigrant community, we often struggle to come together as a cohesive village. Instead of collaborating for the common good of our families, we find ourselves in silent competition with one another. It is vital that immigrant families seek out the right communities—groups of trusted individuals who understand the value of collaboration and can help raise each other’s children in a safe, supportive environment.
To navigate this battle line, immigrant families must invest in creating and nurturing strong, supportive communities. This means finding the right mentors, respected leaders, and families to form bonds with. Collaboration over competition must become the mantra, as we work together to build a support network that serves the needs of each family, ensuring that no one is left to struggle alone. You must find a functional village as you arrive here because a wrong information can set you back by 6 years.
4. The Battle Line of Mission: The Role of Family Governance and Vision
Finally, immigrant families face the battle of mission. Every family, regardless of where they are in the world, has a mission—a message that they must pass down to their children and to the world. However, when African families move to the diaspora, their emotional nature clashes with the systems-driven mindset of the Western world. Without a clear vision or purpose, many families fall apart under the pressure of a system that feels alien and overwhelming.
When couples are unclear about their marital purpose or their family vision, the systems they encounter can disrupt their emotional stability, leading to conflict, marital breakdown, and a disintegration of family life. It’s vital for African immigrant families to understand that family life must be intentional and strategically structured to withstand external pressures.
We have developed the Family Systems Engineering model, which is designed to teach families how to establish a clear family governance system. This model empowers families to clarify their purpose and vision, create actionable goals, and provide a clear structure that guides the emotional and practical decisions they make. When African families in the diaspora embrace this systems approach, they can successfully balance their emotional needs with the challenges of life in a foreign country.
The journey of immigration is a complex but interesting one, but it does not have to come at the cost of family unity. African families can thrive in the diaspora if they are intentional about navigating these four battle lines. Through a clear sense of identity, an embrace of history, the building of a supportive village, and a mission-driven family governance system, immigrant families can successfully adapt to their new environment without losing what makes them strong.
We are committed to helping new African immigrants embrace these strategies and ensure their families stay strong and united in a foreign land. We believe that by understanding and addressing these key battle lines, we can create families that not only survive but thrive—not just in the diaspora, but as a beacon of strength for generations to come.
As you make your plans to leave the shores of Africa kindly pay attention to all i have shared and budget for courses and classes that can open you up to what it takes to build an effective family governance systems.
I wish you all the best & may your family succeed.
There is a 4 week course you can interact with if you are interested in moving from emotions to systems https://www.praisefowowedtech.com/Governing-system
Our mission in 2025 is to reduce the mental health worker shortage in Africa by training 1000 family life practitioners in 6 African countries.
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